Hulk #12 (2009) – The Review

Hulk #12

Hulk #12

So, apparently I offended some people in my last review – I will try to conduct myself a little more respectfully this time.  I – boy do I hate admitting this – I somewhat enjoyed this issue but their are WAY too many problems with this issue to call it any good.  But let’s begin…

The red Hulk has killed the Hulk – amazingly, he truly is dead  – and what has become Loeb’s calling card, the Hulk reverts back to his savage self.  He again uses a Hulk personality for a matter of panels for no real reason and then just changes back.  The Red Hulk says he wanted the Hulk to suffer “Suffer like I have for all the hell he put us all through”  But the Elders offer the Red Hulk the chance to join his “team” to defeat the other players.  So, as Psycho Man is torturing the Surfer and Terrax the Red Hulk shows up and just tears Psycho Man up.  Destroys him very easily.  Then he beheads Terrax saying he’s not impressed with him.  Surfer is ready to fight but the Red Hulk takes him by the throat and tells him that his “power” is based on absorbing other people’s energy.

I hope that's energy coming out of the Surfer's face...

I hope that's energy coming out of the Surfer's face...

 

Red Hulk tells Surfer that he’s looked through Reed Richards extensive files and he found out about the time that Doom stole the Surfer’s power.  He kills him off.  The two teammates are dead – and here’s my real problem, real quick here, they’ve made the Red Hulk so powerful that no one should be able to beat him.  He beat the surfer with such ease – I’m not sure if that is supposed to show how powerful he’s supposed to be or if it cheapens the Surfer.  Cause before – and later – the Hulk knocked him out and knocks him around.  So he kills the two and this is what we see:

Have you ever rode on a star - carried moon beams off where you are!

Have you ever rode on a star - carried moon beams off where you are!

Come On… really?  Whatever, I guess I’m wrong for thinking this is just ridiculous.  My eyes hurt from rolling so many times from reading this issue.  Every encounter pretty much goes the same – the Red Hulk fries Tiger Shark and decapitates Namor.  I think he kills Dormammuu – but who knows – he just flies through his head.  He also shows up to fry Strange and Mordo and faces Galactus.  I was ready for the worst here – but for once it looks like Loeb decides there is ONE character that’s more powerful.  But Galactus takes back the cosmic power and gives the Red Hulk a smack down.  He says that the Elders should have known he was not one to be trifled with and that because of the Red Hulk insolence that he is going to eat the Earth next.  The Red Hulk reappears with the elders

Yeah - you're going to hurt Galactus...

Yeah - you're going to hurt Galactus...

Now, this is where I have an issue – Galactus was in the time when the Surfer was first created – so how is there an Earth for the Red Hulk to return to?  Galactus should have eaten it!  This is why Loeb can’t write a story like this – because in the end – IT MAKES NO SENSE!  It’s not even fun to read because there’s just too many plot holes and inconsistencies.  But let’s finish this here.  The Red Hulk brags that he won but the Elders chastise him for messing with Galactus.  They tell him he has messed things up so his Offenders have been returned to their times, alive and well, as well as the Defenders who have now been resurrected.  Red Hulk gets pissed at the Grandmaster and beats him to death – but the Hulk comes along and smacks the Red Hulk into the side of a mountain. – See what I mean?  The Red Hulk just killed an Elder – but the Hulk just slapped him away?  Does this not seem really stupid to these “fans”

Take that you crimson a-hole!

Take that you crimson a-hole!

Hulk asks for Jarella.  The Elder gives her to the Hulk – a dead Jarella.  The Red Hulk comes out of nowhere saying that he’s leaving the Hulk broken hearted – just as Banner left him. 

Either the Surfer is emarrassed or he's trying to hide the fact he's laughing...

Either the Surfer is emarrassed or he's trying to hide the fact he's laughing...

Now, I highlighted certain things the Red Hulk says because they’re obvious clues to who the Red Hulk is – and I think those people who have been saying it’s Glen Talbot are spot on.  There’s no one else it can be!  Anyways, the issue itself was a waste of time – it basically did nothing but raise a whole bunch more questions that Loeb didn’t answer and tell a story that had no point.  Shocker.  Grade – C- (And I think I’m being generous here)

Hulk #12 variant

Hulk #12 variant

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14 responses to “Hulk #12 (2009) – The Review

  1. um. is it a safe bet to quit it when TI-HULK comes back? At least the Planet Skaar Prologue was good… redeemed this Wednesday for me.

  2. Thanks for the review; you saved me some money as I will NOT be buying this issue, nor any other issues of Red Hulk.

    As far as I am concerned the series ended last issue.

  3. Mercenary Nonsense

    red hulk is the worst character i have seen so he has the power of absorbing man now?!!?!? and the whole heat thing to add on to that!?!? and military experience?!?!?! and loebs the one writing smash meaning he’s actually trying to ruin the hulk so he can come up with his own version to get big off of!?!?!?

    • Mercenary Nonsense

      well the red hulk beating an elder green hulk has beaten guy who went one on one with a fully fed galactus into a pile goo(not exagerating)

  4. I think maybe you were generous because Loeb actually dropped a few hints (kind-of) moving the story along a bit (finally). BTW – Did you get the Art Adams Variant wrap around?

  5. Good review: but let’s not forget McGuinness, whose artwork is consistently excellent and the reason I keep buying Red Hulk. If only McGuinness could work with someone else… :-)

  6. Mercenary Nonsense

    hey rachet i made this hulk video u might like (all hulk fans so far loved it and it has over 300,000 views and has 4 1/2 stars) i want ur opinion on it so put this in google or adress box : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9vZL4QKLX8

    • Mercenary Nonsense

      never mind about google or adress box just click it

      • Mercenary Nonsense

        the reason why i wnat ur opinion is that ur a hulk expert u seem to know 3x as much as hulk as me and by my own comments on my video is saying alot

  7. Long-time reader; first-time poster, and as appalled as you are by Loeb in general, but I think you’re misjudging him a little in one detail here.

    I don’t read Galactus saying he’s going to eat Earth because of what Rulk did as a continuity error. I read it as Loeb, with a combination of clumsiness and egocentircity fitting this run, trying to say that this stupid fight with Rulk is why Galactus first came to Earth back in [i]Fantastic Four[/i] all those years ago.

  8. This is one of the worst story lines I’ve ever read. Loeb is a moron and that’s puting it lightly. There are too many problems to even list, but a few of them: Red Hulk beating and Elder – give me a freakin’ break, Red Hulk beating Terrax and the Surfer – there is no way the Red Hulk should EVER beat the Surfer or Terrax -read their power listings in Marvel Universe for why. Galactus should’ve vaporized the Red Hulk and saved the rest of us the brain-cell deficit we get from reading Red Hulk’s lame stories. Please, Marvel…no more of this crap.

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