Hulk #5 – The Review

So it begins, the Red Hulk faces off against Thor.  This comic starts right after the Red threw the Hulk off the Golden Gate Bridge and Thor appears.  He hits the Red with the Mjolnir and the Red shakes it off.  Doesn’t even affect him.  Not even a mosquito bite kind of irratation.  So, then Red tosses Thor around like he’s a rag doll and, even worse, jumps – or maybe even flies, who knows with Loeb’s writing – into space.  That’s right, into space.  He uses the Mjolnir (he can, cause they’re in space!) to beat Thor silly.  He then drops Thor off on the moon – but not before kicking his helmet off (?) – and Thor promises to have vengence (because he did so well this time).  We join the Fantastic Four trying to watch a video tape of Ross.  As they try to decipher what he says a virus gets into their computer and Iron Man is informed that the Red came back from space but almost sent California into the sea doing it.  Wasn’t that the plot of Superman Returns?  So, here comes A-Bomb to save the Green Hulk from the bottom of the ocean.  The two have a conversation that I can only describe as “painful”. 

Why Blue Man Help Hulk?

Not Blue Man.  A-Bomb.  A-Bomb is Hulk’s friend.  Help Hulk fight Red Hulk.

Where is a gun when you need one?  Anyways, Hulk tells A-Bomb to help the people in the earthquake.  Hulk is going to after Red Hulk.  Then Iron Man shows up with She-Hulk, Ares, the Human Torch, Namor and the Thing.  Why Loeb titled each character like we’re 10 years old and needed to be told who they were is beyond me.

I have to say, this comic keeps surprising me – and not in the good way.  How does Loeb write such drivel and get paid for it?  Really?  What’s next?  Does the Red Hulk take on Ego the Living Planet just to show he can?  I hope all of these question get answered in the next comic – it says to be concluded at the end – but I doubt that will happen.  And wasn’t Reed a bit busy?  Now he has time to help Iron Man out?  Last I heard he was a little… spread thin.  This get a little unbearable.  One more comic to make it all better!  Marvel really need to get on the ball with releases too – they should be up to Hulk #8 – not 5.  D-

Published by ratchet

I am a man. I like the world I live in. I would like it better if pumpkins were available year-round though...

22 thoughts on “Hulk #5 – The Review

  1. I agree, I think this might fall into your theory of the spider man clone saga…which sucks because I thought Marvel was above that now.

  2. This issue was horrible. The art has been great since issue 1. This could have been a HUGE old-school BATTLE, but instead it was so mind numbing. I hope they know where they are going this because as of right now, I don’t……………………

  3. I am a little impressed by the writing. I think Thor lost because he was surprised by the readiness of Rulk. I also have another theory that zero gravity was not the reason of Rulk using Mjolnir. As a race of warrior gods, Odin enchanted the hammer to prevent someone who is not worthy from lifting it. So far, Rulk has killed villians but not heroes. He has done so with forethought and executing plans to deal with the individuals he fought. Maybe as a warrior, he is worthy but never considered the possiblilty that he is and stuck with his own theory of Zero-G.

  4. Wow – it was TOUGH not picking these up after issue 1, but man, am I glad I didn’t. I really like McGuiness’ art, so I can’t fault the art. The writing, and in no way in defense of Loeb, but I think he going appeasing the masses, and the little Hulksters at heart. OR, he’s just not clickin’….

  5. Well, I’m glad someone’s enjoying the series Frank. The I guess time will tell about your theory. I’m not sure I agree. He doesn’t seem to have a conscience about killing – it just happens that he hasn’t killed any heroes… yet

  6. I hope they go into a good back story with Red Hulk, like why is he so radioactive and why he is able to speak the way he does? Hulk came from WWH and Planet Hulk speaking really well for his big green self. Now he’s back to Savage Hulk or something to the same effect. WHYYYYYY???

  7. uh, what? Odinpower, anyone? Thor has the power to reconstitute the moon, to decapitate someone wearing the Destroyer armor, and he shrugged off being at ground zero of an h-bomb.

    Only a really bad writer ignores all that to have jobbed off to the “my baby” character they’re introducing.

  8. I think that maybe they could have THor like transfer some of his power to Hulk and then Hulk is like 2x as powerful as Rulk and then Hulk like smashes the poop out of Rulk Rulk says Nothing should be able to beat him hulk smashes him in the face, and then Rulk kicks his feet up up kicks the Hulk out of his way hulk doesn’t even get hurt and the tables are turned . Rulk punched in the face Rogue joins transfers all the X-men’s power to Hulk Making Him intellegent, Strong, quick, and Unstoppable Beating Rulk in the last Comic. Just a fantasy

  9. I found your site on technorati and read a few of your other posts. Keep up the good work. I just added your RSS feed to my Google News Reader. Looking forward to reading more from you down the road!

  10. Man, I’ve been reading this by proxy along with various reviews, and boy does it stink out loud. Loeb confounds me with this, because he has written some great comics in the past including Superman for All Seasons and of course Hulk Grey. So what the heck is this drivel?

    The Red Hulk has got to be one of the worst fanwank characters ever introduced by a professional writer. I see this type of character on all the time.

    Not even the art does much for me. I like McGuiness as a cover artist, but I personally find his style too overbearing for sequentials. Maybe it’s just this book though, given the face-slappingly bright colors. Too cartoony.

    I can’t believe Pak passed up this because he wanted to work the Skaar concept. That would be great if Skaar wasn’t currently a pile of ‘meh’ as well. I guess there’s always Marvel Adventures Hulk.

  11. Let me tell you why I think Iron Man’s plan is a bad idea. Assume that WW Hulk is as powerful as the Red Hulk. Here are the problems with the heroes he assembled:
    1. Ares and She Hulk were instantly taken down in the group assembly, by WW Hulk
    2. Iron Man lost to WW Hulk, while in his Hulk Buster outfit.
    3. The Torch at super nova and Storm’s lightening didn’t have an effect on WW Hulk. And when the Thing entered the fight shortly afterwards, he was taken down rather quickly.

  12. I’ve been checking out your Hulk site for some time now and I’ve got to say that you have some awesome stuff man!

    I’ve been a Hulk fan for a long time now but never was Hulk crazy until Planet Hulk and WWH came out and those comics just blew me away.

    I’d say I’ve been collecting Marvel comics for 20 years and I’ll have to admit that if Marvel put out a Hulk or SpiderMan book with a cover and blank pages I would still buy it. It’s sad I know.

  13. For some reason I expected some proper Norse smack talk and at least one ‘hey i’m the Odin’son’ moment to add more cloute to the jobber deed.

    one such scene: Thor on the moon beaten with his own hammer rises for round two…

    “I admit you fight as a warrior born, but you battle not just a champion of Midgard but against divinity and the sovereign of Asgard.”


    “… You forget red one, the strongest of mortals is of a green complection…” calls his hammer “and I am still a god!” while connects with alternate hand full of Odin force.

    post planet fall… Rulk turns up the heat of the coast of so Cal, boils some of Namor’s friends as Thor re-enters atmosphere toward a column of rising steam. Rulk unleashes for round 3.

  14. guess whatjoe gave us an explanation why hulk is dumb the waves from the satellite at the end of whh alterd hulks mind so basically he is depowered this better not last long .

  15. Joey Q. coming up with bologna to save the inconsistency of Loeb. Almost as bad as Stan Lee’s explanation of why the Hulk was always wearing purple pants…

  16. reading that rulk actually held mjolnir is an insult to the lore and is frankly just plain silly…

    its not that the hammer is heavy…gravity has nothing to do with it…jeez

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