What If?… #45 (1984) – The Review

What If?  #45
What If? #45

What if the Hulk went berserk?  Doesn’t the Hulk go berserk on a regular basis?  That’s like asking “What is Spiderman used sarcasm?”  That’s like asking “What if Wolverine had no memory of his origin?”  That’s like asking “What if Power Girl had huuuugge boobs?”  Hulk goes berserk – that’s what he does! 

The basis of this story replaces the regular origin of the Hulk with the scenario where Bruce is just a little too late in saving Rick Jones.  The Gamma-Bomb goes off a second earlier and BOTH Bruce and Rick are caught in the blast.  This, for some reason, makes Bruce still turn into the Hulk – but now Rick and the Hulk are psychically linked.  Rick is fine, mind you, no Hulk-outs – just linked to the Hulk.  So the Hulk knows when Rick is hurt – and the army does hurt him.  First they give him a shot – which he cried like a baby about – and then they electrocuted him to lure the Hulk back to the Army Base.  Well, it worked, the Hulk did come back – but only after they electrocuted Rick… to death.  Thunderbolt Ross feels bad – but Talbot is there to tell him that Jones was a casualty.  (What a softy) 

Without Rick in Hulk’s head all of a sudden the Hulk goes on a destruction bender!  He begins to throw missiles at the helicopters – and Ross decides that they need some outside help.  That means the FF comes in to help.  The Human Torch tries to take him out – but Hulk literally blows him out.  Like a candle.  It’s kind of awesome.  Hulk takes the FF on – but then when the Thing battles with the Hulk they land near a ICBM silo.  The missile goes off and out of the fire comes Bruce and Ben – IN HUMAN FORM! – But Bruce becomes the Hulk suddenly and snaps Ben’s neck.  The Human Torch comes blazing in – only to have the Hulk swat him away like a fly, killing him.  Iron Man and Thor come to help out.  Hulk destroy the circuits that keep Tony’s heart beating – and he dies.  Man, this is horrific!  Thor comes in to save the day.  They tussle for just a bit before Thor snaps the Hulk’s neck.  As the Hulk turns back into Banner, Thor gives him a honorable death and burns him up with lightning.  Ross tells Talbot that they have much to atone for.

It’s a pretty decent issue – but let’s acknowledge the elephant in the room – Thor snapping Hulk’s neck?  WTF?  While I am glad that they used Thor to beat him – because let’s be honest here – if someone is going to beat the Hulk it should be a god.  But man, it just seemed too easy!  Ridonkulous!  Ricockulous even!  Issue: C

Published by ratchet

I am a man. I like the world I live in. I would like it better if pumpkins were available year-round though...

12 thoughts on “What If?… #45 (1984) – The Review

  1. Let’s see…

    #’s 2, 3, 12, 23, 29, 31, 45, 50, 53, 71, 78, 80, and 91.

    So that’s 14 issues. Some are the Avengers – but they still have the Hulk in them. I have 9 of them – but am working on getting the others…

  2. This is a rather unique and memorable cover for the series, too, courtesy of Bill Sienkiewicz…. even if so much of the space available is ultimately wasted. The image has always reminded me of the movie poster work of artist Bob Peak.

  3. Don’t forget, “What IF?….. The thing said ‘clobbering time!”’
    or “What IF?…. Wolverine called people ‘bub”’
    I almost forgot “What IF?…. Mister Fantastic was one of the smartest people on the planet?!”

  4. Damn ratch, your good with the info there. hope you don’t mind if I add -This was, Newer and General Ross what if’s with Grey Hulk in them all. Those ish I mention seem to be 1 shots?

  5. Hulk-Man- What if “this was” the Fantastic Four. The ish is a 1 shot, with the Grey Hulk in it. You understand it now, rossta mon?

  6. You’re right 465 – there are a few one-shots “What If?” Including the What if General Ross became the Hulk, and the Planet Hulk What If?

  7. Can you get the general ross one? I want to read a review, all I’ve seen is the cover image.

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