I am convinced – anyone who is still in favor of this series thinking that the story is “fun” or “tongue in cheek” is just simply retarded. I’m sorry – but after reading this I am SURE that Loeb has completely lost it. What the hell happened to my favorite comic? Loeb can’t even keep continuity from issue to issue – for example; the last issue ended with the Hulk excited about battling the Red Hulk to the death – this issue begins with the Hulk saying he doesn’t want to fight him… wait, WHAT? That makes no sense! Loeb owes McGuinness a hug for keeping this series going as the art is freakin’ fantastic – but McG owes Loeb a punch in the face for making him draw his ridiculous plots – if you can call them that!
So, like I said, the story starts with the Grand Master (GM) informing us that each group of fighters have been split up and sent to an unfamiliar territory to duke it out to the death. Ummm… – what the hell was the point of gathering a whole team together just to split them up to fight? This is what I’m talking about – ridiculous! Whoever reads that and thinks “Cool!” needs to be hit in the head with a tack hammer. So, as I told you before, the Hulk tells the Red Hulk that he doesn’t want to fight him – instead they should team up and take on the GM. The Red Hulk calls the Hulk a “milksop” (another diversion into thinking who the Red Hulk is – are we now supposed to think he’s Ross? But the was there at the end of issue 6 looking down at the defeated Red Hulk! What the hell?) and says he’d never fight side to side with him. By the way, they are fighting in Namor’s kingdom.
Surfer fights Terrax – but the Surfer has no idea who he is fighting – he just wants to save the love of his life as they battle in the Microverse. Whatever, this fight is boring… moving on, Namor is fighting the Tiger Shark (who has a new dentist and has fitted him with brand new adamantium teeth!) in the dimension of the Mindless One. And, this is so beautifully illustrated! Especially the splash where TS takes a bite out of Namor’s neck!
The Surfer and Baron Mordo fight on Surfer’s home planet. That’s all I have to say about that. Anyways, back to Hulk and Red Hulk – they continue to throw punches as Banner tries to convince Red to fight WITH him. The Hulk seems to be dominating the fight at this point. The GM and his brother the Collector are watching in dismay as each battle seems to be too evenly matched. They decide to spice things up a bit. So, Galactus, angered by his missing herald, demands to have the Surfer back or he will not only eat his planet but he will also travel to Strange’s and Mordo’s planet and eat those as well. TS and Namor have an unexpected guest as Dormammu demands that they take him back to their dimension so he can take over the Earth. If you don’t know who Dormammu is then you need to read more Defender comics… Alright, let’s not forget about Surfer and Terrax who is visited by the Psycho Man who is driving them insane.
Back at Namor’s kingdom we see that the Red Hulk has taken control of the fight with Banner. The Red Hulk takes a trident and skewers the Hulk with it. He announces “Mission Accomplished. The Hulk is Dead.” Can you imagine that IS it? I wouldn’t put it past Loeb to kill off my favorite character at this point.
Like I stated before, Loeb can’t write through an entire issue without contradicting himself. I started reading at 2:31pm and I was finished reading at 2:33pm – that’s even harder to swallow when the comic is now $3.99. Yeah, Marvel I noticed the price hike. Thanks for finding yet another way to screw us over… Oh yeah! Don’t forget about the amazingly innocuous “Wolverine” variant cover. That was sarcasm by the way. Grade: D-