Hulked Out Heroes #1 (of 2) (2010) – The Review

Hulked Out Heroes #1

I’ve not read many Deadpool comics – but honestly I have to say – he seems like an annoying version of Peter Parker – only, not funny.  He tries way too hard to be funny.  In the last issue of Hulk – Deadpool was turned into “Hulkpool”.  One of the more cringe-worthy moments in the short life of the Hulk series.  But far be it for Marvel to try to sweep this character under the rug, instead they give the retarded character his own mini-series.

Thing as Blackbeard and... Hulkpool

Jeff Parker worked wonders with some of his early mini-series – but the last issue of Red Hulk fell a little flat – and this falls even lower!  Hulkpool heads out with a character named Bob – Hulkpool (alright, I’m done typing that stupid name, from now on it’s BM.  Why BM?  Figure it out.) wants to go back in time to kill his former self.  Unfortunately Bob does not know how to work the controls of Doom’s time machine so well – and instead BM is sent to a pirate ship where the Thing is now Blackbeard (the story from FF#5… You’d think with an issue so historic as Doom’s 1st appearance Lee could have come up with something better than a pirate story where the Thing is Blackbeard!) and the two take over the ship – but are soon attacked.  A mystical man conjures up a huge tentacled creature that attacks the Thing and BM.  This forces Bob to work quickly to save them – but Bob fumbles once again and sends them to prehistoric times.

The Thing and BM don’t stay there for long – long enough to make friends with Ape Men – but are soon sent to 1873, to the Old West.  BM tries to save the Two-Gun Kid’s horse from the Dinosaur that time traveled with the party – but instead gets chomped himself.  Bob sends him through time again – this time to 1945 – where Cap is trying to save Bucky from exploding on a bomb.  BM says he will save the boy.

Blackbeard Thing and the Two-Gun Kid

Wow – this was the worst, biggest waste of time, atrocious issue yet.  I am sorry Parker, but this should never have been released.  BM is an idea that should have died upon inception – not actually starred in his own mini.  Terrible! Grade:

Also – I know there is a variant – I have yet to pick it up – but from what I’ve heard it’s a reprint of the end of Hulk #21 – which is cheap.  And before I end this blog I would just like to say – the art from Ramos (huge fan) is fantastic!  I feel bad for him that he had to use his talents to tell this story.

BM to save Bucky...

Published by ratchet

I am a man. I like the world I live in. I would like it better if pumpkins were available year-round though...

12 thoughts on “Hulked Out Heroes #1 (of 2) (2010) – The Review

  1. Hey man, I couldn’t agree more, and I actually like the Red Hulk stuff! What a waste! I was thinking about unpulling it, but I know I’ll be sorry because I have accepted Hulk into my life. I already pre-ordered both red and green Kotos!

    1. I will say this… those are the initials of the technical term to waste… can you figure it out now?

  2. After reading your review it looks like my hunch to avoid this was right. It sounds even worse than I thought. Ratchet, are you reviewing last week’s issues?

    1. I am – I will get to it, promise!

      But, your gut was definitely right. The issue was more terrible than I could ever imagine – just plain ridiculous!

      I know Marco was hoping for Parker to take over Hulk – but there are certainly cracks showing in his foundation as a solid, “go to guy” for writing spectacular issues. If he ever comes back here to comment maybe he can apologize for trying to lambaste people for not getting behind him. Maybe he can admit he was a bit hasty – after reading these issues in particular!

  3. Well, friends, I’ll agree that this book was a steaming pile of suck.

    Here’s hoping everyone enjoys next week’s SAVAGE SHE-HULKS #2 a little better. Even though it seemingly gives away who Red Hulk is by extrapolation on the first few pages. (Shall I spoil? Nay! Go look at the previews on CBR or Newsarama!)

    And, Mr.Hulk_Smashin’!? Google “B.M.” and check a few results down. Yeah, the “Urban Dictionary” one. Yessir, you’re welcome.


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