Alright, where the heck is David’s reviews? That guy is going to get it! Anyways, I am back to review Hulk #24 – although, after I read it I didn’t really feel like reviewing it. It’s still full of holes and crappy plotting by the master of disaster – the one and only – Mr. Jeph Loeb. I want to take a minute before starting this review by saying, as terrible as the story has been with Loeb at the helm, Jeff Parker is taking over with issue #25. As much as I would have loved to see the character just die I think this is the second best alternative – someone else writing the series. Loeb just needed to be off the book. He should never be allowed to write the Hulk again. Seriously. If he walked into the Marvel offices tomorrow and said “I have this idea for the Hulk…” Joey Q should body slam him Jimmy Superfly Snuka style.
Well, this issue begins where the Red Hulk is ready to take control of the country – but the real Hulk, now back, has something to say about it. Ummm… when does this take place? Because The Hulk re-gammified and them immediately fought Skaar! And this was no minute and a half fight – but the Red Hulk went straight to the White House… and the Hulk is there too. This is giving me a bad memory of when I saw Mickey at the Magic Kingdom AND in Epcot – in the same hour! In different outfits! I knew it couldn’t be possible! And that was last year…
Anyways, Let the battle begin! The Red Hulk is shocked that the Hulk is standing in front of him. He was so sure he had finally defeated and gotten rid of the Hulk. Reading this comic, I was really wishing it was like the Gong Show – where I could hit the gong and another writer would come in. Really, Red? You thought you got rid of him for good? Not to mention that Bruce is one of the smartest men alive – but if you’re that angry – just do it again. It was easy enough the first time! Oh – that’s right – that would make sense. Loeb wouldn’t want common sense and accuracy to interfere with his plots. That would just be silly – and upset the 6th graders – and those with a 6th grade mentality – that adore his writing. So, the Red Hulk is now facing a Hulk he hasn’t in the past – the WWH Hulk – the strongest personality yet. And this Hulk can not only give devastating blows – but dish them out as well.
McGuinness once again is the only real reason to check this book out as he gives page after page of beautiful knuckle punches and head butts. The Guy is a master at drawing head butts! Betty is there and tries to stop Bruce from killing her Father – I am a bit confused on the Red She Hulk’s personality – they were making her out to be a cold killer – but now she seems like… well, Betty instead. What happened exactly? Once they found out who she was she suddenly started caring? That makes no sense… oh Wait – of course it doesn’t. We don’t have to worry about her for very long though – Jen Walters Ks her ass O. And what is this? Well – the Green Hulk is beating the Red Hulk so bad it looks as though he has damaged his eye! That’s the one weak spot the Red Hulk really has – as you remember from his fight with Wolverine. It took practically 3 issues for his eyes to heal! Good job Hulk taking out hi… oh wait, never mind – a page later and it’s healed. WTF?
Well, the Hulk doesn’t let Red get away – even though he tries to – but when Hulk catches up to him Red delivers a brutal blow that sets off an atomic bomb! The Red Hulk basks in his win – until the Hulk comes away from the blast without a scratch… and basically asking for more. Then the Hulk – doesn’t hit Red, oh no, he claps – you read right – he claps. He sends Red flying into the Lincoln monument and tells him he’s beaten. He says not to bother turning back into Ross – for if he does he will be tried for treason. And in a really pathetic twist in the end – Hulk and Cap – well, former Cap – go into the base where Red is being kept in a cell – just like Banner in the first issue. Oddly, Banner says he designed it himself – so that even the Hulk couldn’t escape if need be. Haven’t we heard that before? And is this the same cell where Bruce was kept before? Cause that really worked well in keeping the Hulk contained. (Sarcasm Detector!) Red is in his cell smiling – saying he knew that they come to him looking for help. Wow. Just… horrible. I wish I was there when he told everybody the ending of his Hulk opus – I can see him saying it with such enthusiasm – and being met with uncomfortable stares. And then someone saying – “Yeah, that’s fine. Just finish this thing already.”
Can I ask why Loeb keeps bringing up that Red punched out a Watcher as an accomplishment? First off – he sucker punched him – secondly, the guy wasn’t going to fight back – and even worse, he was just watching at the time! He wasn’t even wanting a fight! It’s like a boxer punching out a spectator! It wasn’t brilliant or funny or even worth repeating ever! Not to mention – the Red Hulk’s powers seem to be what is needed for the story at the time – and them all of a sudden they disappear. Thank goodness Loeb is leaving… Grade: D+