Some of you might remember my friend Dave from back in the. Well he and I were talking about comics the other day. I mentioned about the upcoming return to original numbering and the return to Planet Hulk in the MU. He went on to have this very NSFW rant which I had to literally grab a pen and start writing down because it was hilarious. It went as follows:
“Marvel is like a fucking family with a cow. A cow that gives the best friggin milk you’ve ever had, right? But they milk the shit out of this cow for years and years, they realize one morning the milk isn’t as good as it once was – but they want the good shit that they had when this cow first gave them milk. So they go to this cow and say ‘we’re going to milk the shit out of you again but we want you to give us that good milk – the stuff you gave us when we originally started drinking out of you.’
The cow’s all ‘Dude, I’m fucking tired! Try milking one of those other cows, fresh cows that you ain’t even tried yet! Their shit might be delicious too! And the family is all, ‘nah, fuck that noise, we’re going to milk the shit out of you and we expect it to be the best shit you’ve ever produced.’
The cow tries to tell them over and over, try something new, fresh – but the family never listens. They keep milking the same cow until it is so tired and half dead. And then they try to tell everyone the cow is just as good as it’s always been – but people can see the fucking cow, man! They see it all dying and gasping for air. They know it ain’t right.”
After he was done I sarcastically said to him “Marvel is the cow, right?”
Sideshow has released teasers of the Life-Sized Bust Hulk they will release. This monstrosity is an absolute disaster – they facial expression screams “What smells bad?” More than scary anger. Ugh – SS, how do you manage to screw up almost EVERY Hulk release? There are three SS pieces every Hulk collector should own – I’ll let you guys guess at which I’m talking about – but this botched piece is not one of them. Thank you SS for saving me some bucks!
Rumors have been swirling for months about a BAF Gladiator Hulk for the Thor Ragnarok Marvel Legends line. Well, Marvel finally announced what everyone already knew:
That’s right! Marvel’s worst kept secret is finally out – Gladiator Hulk will be the BAF for the line! Totally didn’t see that coming! It does look awesome though!
I can’t believe we’re getting a Planet Hulk inspired Pop Hulk before we even get a grey – or Mr. Fixit – Pop, but here we are! I’m not complaining though!
Yup, that’s right! We’re also served with a dose of Lego Hulk! In a set including the Gladiator Hulk it looks like a Colusium with Thor and Loki. This will be in my dreams until it is in the Hulk room!
It’s been a bit of a song since a good amount of Hulky goodness was released into the stores. Well, consider that dry spell over ladies and gents! We are getting some real doozies here! While no Marvel Legends pics have been revealed we are treated to a sneak peek at the Titan Series electriconic Gladiator Hulk! And, of course, new Hulk hands as well! They are more in line with what we’ve gotten recently – but Planet Hulk themed – and while I was sort of hoping for a return to the 2003 glory I’m still psyched to be getting a new pair!
Click image for more pics!
I was hoping when the Hulk (the real Hulk) came back we might get some normalcy to the MU – but apparently, no. Dale Keown just released this image in his FB page titled “Bruce Banner Hulk and Totally Awesome Hulk #1” which means this is a real thing happening. I can’t express how disappointing that is. TAHulk sells about 16,000 units a month – a semi-successful comic needs to move about 30,000-40,000 units a month. It should be ovoids to anyone with a brain that this little experiment did not work and just return the one true Hulk to greatness – but Marvel will instead continue to shove this unwelcome doppelgänger in our faces month after a month. I have not purchased a Hulk comic in years – that trend may continue.